Friday, May 14, 2010

The MOTHER of Invention

"Necessity is the mother of invention". I hear that all the time. But I can't help but think that the word "mother" in this is no coincidence.  As a mom I find many inventions to be definite necessities. If they hadn't been invented I'm sure I would have thought of them myself, and would now be a millionaire (Well, I would have thought of them, and then watched someone else with the mental capacity make them). I have no doubt that a mom invented many of the things I take for granted today. Had they not been around, I would have numerous contributions to the website Shit My Kids The Facebook group has 16,000 members, all of which have most likely had submissions. When the kids are quiet, they are probably doing something you would rather have them not doing. It really sucks because it's nice to have some quiet time. The down side is your "break" doesn't last long before you are snapping out of it like you were having a dream that you're falling and immediately start shouting "Freeze! Whatever you are doing... stop right now!" as you run to find the disaster.

I received a phone call from my husband once that went a little like this:

Hubby: "Guess what your son did?" (quick note: I also refer to them as your sons when they misbehave)
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "He found a permanent marker"
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "He drew a line around the whole perimeter of his brother's room"
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "AND he drew on his crib, and the hardwood floor"
Me: "OH, NO!...."
Hubby: "and on his brother"
Me: "Son of a bitch!"

(Imagine how the conversation sounded to my co-workers that only heard my side of this conversation)

I headed to the store on my home from work. I'm not sure what I was looking for to clean "permanent" marker, but I was sure that a mom out there had this happen, and created something that would do the job. Perhaps it was called "Cleaner For Shit Your Kid Ruined". While looking, I found something called the "Magic Eraser". Why not? I'll try this little magical gadget. Let me add; whoever came up with this, I would love to find them, and kiss them. I'm aware that I think it's another mother, but...go ahead guys, have a visual.

When I got home I gave my new find to my husband and told him to get to work. Besides, it happened on his watch. To our surprise it worked! I wondered how I had gotten along to this point without owning stock in this thing. I'll admit I briefly entertained the idea of using it to clean the son that had been "decorated" with the marker. I was a little leery so I "googled it" (I figured a mom out there had tried it, and wrote about). Turns out, it's a bad idea. It will take off the marker, but it also takes a layer of skin with it. A bath did the trick. As I scrubbed him in the tub and washed his hair using "tear free" shampoo (also undoubtedly invented by a mother) I thought Thank goodness for the internet! I wonder if a mom invented that too...

I found myself in awe of all the "mothers" of invention. They must have come up with so many of the concepts for things I needed everyday...stain resistant carpet, non-toxic crayons, dishwashers, coffee, alcohol (wine, in particular)...I could go on and on.

Cloning may have been the idea of a mom, I mean who wouldn't want a replica of themselves? I was thinking the other day that if you add the amount of weight I gained while pregnant and subtract the weight I am now, I've lost a whole person while dieting (Dieting was NOT invented by a mom). That's really unfortunate in a way because I could really use that bitch around here from time to time to help me keep an eye on these kids!


Anonymous said...

Oh no not the hardwood. We just recently moved into a house with beautiful hardwood and my husband guards that shit likes its the Holy Grail!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I know mothers invented nap time!My kids have ruined numerous things, the only one who has done more damage is the dog. I can't say much though because when I was little I was so delighted with learning to write everyone's name that I went around the house with marker and wrote everyone's name on their stuff. Including my moms china cabinet. She was not thrilled with the monagram.

Katie said...

My son on more than one occasion has decided that he's going to draw on the walls with sharpie. His father uses them regularly at his house for his car modeling and my sticky fingers son brings them to our house. The magic eraser has seen our walls many times.

An additional item to your list. Color Wonder Markers. The markers and paint that the kids can draw on everything and it's clear.. wipes off clean with a towel. I LOVE IT!

S Farrell said...

I can't believe he was able to get it off the hardwoods! We just had them put in too (daddy should have been guarding them!)
Now that they both can write I'm never sure who to blame, and yes I did my fair share of writing on things too :)
Color Wonder...definately a mom invention!

Kelley said...

I want to marry Magic Eraser! I am always in awe of it's magical powers! I have never tried it on permanent marker. Glad to know it works on that, too!

Thanks for finding me on MBC!

Natalie said...

The Magic Eraser is my best friend. That thing works on anything and everything! But I try to stay away from it because when I start cleaning with it, I don't stop.

Also, my hubby does the same thing..."your son" or "your kid"

Thanks for swinging by my blog and I'm glad you found me on MBC! I'm your newest follower :)

S Farrell said...

I do the same thing, start cleaning then something else looks like it could use a little "magic eraser" and it goes on and on...
Thanks for following!

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

This is awesome! My little one isn't at that stage yet, but almost! I'm stopping by from Ericka's Blog Flow!

litanyofbritt said...

The magic eraser is frackin' magical!

Nikki said...

I know it's not funny to you I'm sure but it is pretty funny!! I'm glad you got it up...that Magic Eraser IS magic!!! I so can't wait until my child is coloring all over the place. Right now we are at the "I stick everything I possibly can into my mouth and drool ALL over it"
Following now from Blog Flow!! Hope you'll stop by and visit!

Anonymous said...

I picked up a black sharpie JUST today off of the floor (how it got there, no idea!) and I quickly hid it:) Good luck next time! Jilly

The Empress said...

Congrats on your award from Mombshelter! I love your style.

You are rightfully deserving, since my stomach lurched at the mention of the hardwood. Puke.

S Farrell said...

Thank you Empress! Mombshelter is truly the bomb :)

Mama Wheaton said...

There are some inventions that had to be thought of by men - like pantyhose!

Nikki said...

Wow, LOL and oh shit. I own one permanent marker and its up high where I have to jump to get it, LOL. I wrote on things as a child, as did my mom and so on, I figured I should probably stop that habit, haha. My son took his metal Tonka truck and left its "mark" on furniture and walls instead.

I agree, a mom had to create most of what we use to get through our day. A man wouldn't have realized the need for it, LOL.

Jessica said...

we have the same bloggy background! That means your blog MUST be good! Cant wait to read more! Following from blog flow!