"Necessity is the mother of invention". I hear that all the time. But I can't help but think that the word "mother" in this is no coincidence. As a mom I find many inventions to be definite necessities. If they hadn't been invented I'm sure I would have thought of them myself, and would now be a millionaire (Well, I would have thought of them, and then watched someone else with the mental capacity make them). I have no doubt that a mom invented many of the things I take for granted today. Had they not been around, I would have numerous contributions to the website Shit My Kids Ruined.com. The Facebook group has 16,000 members, all of which have most likely had submissions. When the kids are quiet, they are probably doing something you would rather have them not doing. It really sucks because it's nice to have some quiet time. The down side is your "break" doesn't last long before you are snapping out of it like you were having a dream that you're falling and immediately start shouting "Freeze! Whatever you are doing... stop right now!" as you run to find the disaster.
I received a phone call from my husband once that went a little like this:
Hubby: "Guess what your son did?" (quick note: I also refer to them as your sons when they misbehave)
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "He found a permanent marker"
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "He drew a line around the whole perimeter of his brother's room"
Me: "Oh, no...."
Hubby: "AND he drew on his crib, and the hardwood floor"
Me: "OH, NO!...."
Hubby: "and on his brother"
Me: "Son of a bitch!"
(Imagine how the conversation sounded to my co-workers that only heard my side of this conversation)
I headed to the store on my home from work. I'm not sure what I was looking for to clean "permanent" marker, but I was sure that a mom out there had this happen, and created something that would do the job. Perhaps it was called "Cleaner For Shit Your Kid Ruined". While looking, I found something called the "Magic Eraser". Why not? I'll try this little magical gadget. Let me add; whoever came up with this, I would love to find them, and kiss them. I'm aware that I think it's another mother, but...go ahead guys, have a visual.
When I got home I gave my new find to my husband and told him to get to work. Besides, it happened on his watch. To our surprise it worked! I wondered how I had gotten along to this point without owning stock in this thing. I'll admit I briefly entertained the idea of using it to clean the son that had been "decorated" with the marker. I was a little leery so I "googled it" (I figured a mom out there had tried it, and wrote about). Turns out, it's a bad idea. It will take off the marker, but it also takes a layer of skin with it. A bath did the trick. As I scrubbed him in the tub and washed his hair using "tear free" shampoo (also undoubtedly invented by a mother) I thought Thank goodness for the internet! I wonder if a mom invented that too...
I found myself in awe of all the "mothers" of invention. They must have come up with so many of the concepts for things I needed everyday...stain resistant carpet, non-toxic crayons, dishwashers, coffee, alcohol (wine, in particular)...I could go on and on.
Cloning may have been the idea of a mom, I mean who wouldn't want a replica of themselves? I was thinking the other day that if you add the amount of weight I gained while pregnant and subtract the weight I am now, I've lost a whole person while dieting (Dieting was NOT invented by a mom). That's really unfortunate in a way because I could really use that bitch around here from time to time to help me keep an eye on these kids!